Hallowed Be MY Name

nuts

2006-02-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

diary-x is dead. here for now.

just wanna say i could go nuts. over all 3 of em.

restraint.

fighting against my words.

is it pride again?

or responsibility?

what the fuck. i'm going nuts.

HECTIC

2004-07-15T19:15:00.000+08:00

Hectic is the word man!

Been long since i updated. School really bites the crap outta me. The first week seemed to drag on for months but this week kinda passed real fast.

HEY TEMASEKIANS!

I envy you bunch... i envy you being in your school. I mean... imagine this...

You all have the same cool uniforms, greet all the familiar teachers, enjoy the cheap canteen food...

Eh wait.

Well i have to wear the same boring home clothes, i don't recognize a single teacher and don't even acknowledge their presence, enjoy food from 6 foodcourts, and have to slack at foodcourt 4, where it's so boring we spend our time smoking, playing soccer, cards and learning magic.

Damn... poly life stinks.

Hope you all will appreciate what you have now. I have to go now, sorry. Need to catch up on my magic tricks.

Flag day

2004-07-01T17:20:00.000+08:00

So i had to do flag day. Big deal. But i had to damn wake up after 3 hours of sleep. It blowed.

I didn't have the damn collection tin anyway. So i went to city hall to meet up with khaled arab and shak. Once i met the trio we headed off to orchard, where we met dian. Then the five of us went to takashimaya to find my damn lecturer.

The bitch never showed! And hell i didn't know who was in my class, so it wasn't a point to ask around.

So Hashim got started, and immediately met success with two angmohs. Then it was on, Hashim and Khaled started being nice, Shak sat there unwillingly and Dian just watched on and asked if she could change tins once theirs were full.

Called Joel later on, and he came down. That just changed everything. What a fucker, he sat at the sides and started his techniques.

1- Rattle the tin at people.
2- Wave at people and point to the tin.
3- Say hello to everyone
4- Stare at people insanely
5- Shout loudly when people walked by: Thank you for your generosity!

Haha i couldn't stop laughing. I was crying openly and probably cracked a rib trying to stop the laughter. Later we headed to the MRT station to meet this guy i never met, Mark. We headed to mac for breakfast, smoked a bit, then headed for far east plaza for pool.

Mark was good, everyone else was in their okayness... Later Kenneth and Bernard came along, then met my mummy and my sister. Headed back to school, followed my mummy to SALC for a while then went back. Slept, overshot and landed backwards a space at tampines. Got back on, grabbed my bike, and headed for home.

I'm fucking tired.

OCH is number 1!

2004-06-26T08:22:00.000+08:00

Shit.

It seemed that way once maniam and co were outta the club. Meidi got drunk. So we all headed for OCH.

It's fucking cool there, scary as hell. And shak pussied out and went home.

There was the pentagrams and star of david on the floor and stuff..

fucking cool stuff.

we're going back there in the morning one day to document the place.

anyone wanna come along?

Working at home

2004-06-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

I noticed an recently growing trend where more and more people decide to work at home. There's a definite advantage to working in your most comfortable surroundings, as compared to going to the office. Let's take a look at advantages of working at the office.

ADVANTAGES:

-Business atmosphere
-No distractions except those extremely short business skirts
-Computer system and internet provided
-Regular pay

Now those seem rather great, don't they? A perfect business atmosphere to get the mind flowing, not much to take your mind off work, no need to invest in state of the art computer systems which are provided, and once a month it's payday.

Well we now focus on the advantages of home-businesses.

ADVANTAGES:

-Can wear whatever you want while working, even an alligator costume
-Breaks? You instead need to learn when to START work
-Can play solitaire while thinking
-No need to ask the 'boss', because the boss is working on building a skyscraper sandwich
-Can take leisurely time to ponder business matters, as why it's spelt b u s i n e s s, when pronounced it would be "busy-ness"
-Can curse and swear at everyone and everything, especially those who 'frag' you when you are doing online gaming 'research'

It's true, the advantages of home working seem to outweigh those of an office job. But the disadvantages do play an integral part as well.

Office jobs, DISADVANTAGES:

-Unable to scratch your private region without secretaries looking disapprovingly at you
-Must continue working or likely to get fired
-Cannot go for as many breaks as desired
-Requires useless office wear
-Surfing for 'undesirable' internet 'information' could get you fired

Home Job, DISADVANTAGES:

-Having to clean up after yourself when you chance upon an 'undesirable' site
-Your job is postponed because you keep saying to yourself, "Just one more game"
-Tend to focus more on how much cheese you should place in your food rather than your work
-You become more lazy, which is why you started a job at home in the first place

As you can see, advantages and disadvantages are rather equal. There's also the teeny point that at the office if you do well, your boss gets praised, if at home you do well, you can treat yourself to another cigarette, which ends up joining the other 495246 stubs on the floor.

So why don't we all start an office job, at home today. If all goes well, we'll soon be rolling in cash, hundreds and thousands of money that we have all earned our way to.

Of course we'll print the money ourselves.

A story i just made... haha..

2004-06-23T06:36:00.000+08:00

A tale based on one of my own experiences:

The Child's Vision

Allowing usage of the computer and the internet to me was like surrendering her purse to me. My mother was strict on rules of the internet, even more so than the most hated rule of 'no-snacks-in-between-meals'. Thus she found herself cringing with remorse at the tiny fact that she had promised me two glorious hours of 'surfing' while she was coerced to visit a sick relative.

"Mummy you promised that if i got an 'A' for English you'd let me play for two hours while you visited Aunt Aggy." I'd repeated those exact words stubbornly over the course of an hour until she'd reluctantly given in. Parents don't usually keep their promises with children, they choose to say "Because i said so!" in an extremely annoying pitch, much worse than a bawling infant.

My mother had told me "Because I said so!" but as stubborn as she was, i could be worse. Like my mummy says, "It's all in the genes." Of such a tender age of nine i still had the impression that 'genes' were something my older sister was shouted at for purchasing them above $80. But i had persevered, and now i was alone in the house and with access to the World Wide Web for two hours of pure fun.

There were many things i wanted to see, to try, to experience with the internet. I had stood enviously around my friends who related to me glorious stories of chatting, multiplayer games and painted such wonderful pictures of the internet i was already sky-high at the thought of surfing. Of course my mother painted a more gruesome image, of deviants and predators and conmen, and how most of the internet was such malarky. I presumed she never had tried the internet.

Thus as my mother repeated for the millionth time that i wasn't to type any rude words or look at any pictures of girls (which, at the age of nine, was something that need not be told) or chat with anybody i surely didn't know, she was off in the taxi. I gave her a little wave of farewell before i ran helter-skelter back into the room, where she had already typed out the password.

My eyes gleamed at the screen and my heart thumped loudy, my insides did a little dance of excitement. It was time! I immediately called up my friends first, and they told me where they were online.

Within seconds i had found them, and we were soon typing up a storm. Everyone was very happy and joyous as all friends should be, until Philip dared me to look for bad things to do. I was horrified.

Firstly, i had never backed down from a dare since the day i ate two worms and a butterfly in the playground. Second, i had heard of ways parents found out what their children did on the internet. Why, only last week James was caned six times for accessing a site on cigarettes.

"Do what James did!" Philips typed eagerly. I would then prove the dare by printing out the page then showing it to them the next day at recess time. I gulped nervously. I was relieved though, that none of them could see me, and thus i accepted the dare.

I was quite good at the computer, and i soon found out how to remove traces of my mischief. Soon, i was at a 'search engine' and typed out the word, 'cigaretes'. The returned pages were filled with gibberish, until i realized my spelling error. 'Cigarettes' went in this time, and i was looking at over a million pages related to smoking and the like.

There was no helping the feeling that i was being watched, although i was alone in that house on the 2nd floor what i was doing seemed like an act punishable by death. I was one of the decent boys at school, never got in any bad trouble, only the occassional failure to hand up art assignments, which like many others, i simply despised doing.

When i clicked on that first page there was a sense of foreboding in me, like i knew something terrible was about to happen. Then the feeling disappeared, and the page loaded quite normally. I ran the mouse cursor over to click 'Print Page' when the cursor stopped, all by itself. I could no longer move the cursor, but i did not feel frightened. It only seemed queer that it would happen at such a time. I figured the computer was malfunctioning. After pressing several keys i deemed it certain and pressed the 'reset' button on my computer. Strangely, the monitor only flickered and the screen went all sorts of colours, before returning to the way it was, still at the website on cigarettes.

I began to get scared. I do not scare easily as many of my friends will tell you, especially regarding the incident i punched Big Bully Bill when he stole Jonathan's lunch. It seemed the right thing to do, and though i was then characterized as a 'violent' boy by most teachers, i was commended by a few for sticking up for justice.

But still, the reset button never fails. I was slowly losing my nerve as over and over, i depressed the button but the monitor never flickered nor changed once. Suddenly, the images of cigarettes begin to swirl around the screen. Then there were images of knives, of powdery substances, of guns, a crimson liquid which i dearly hoped was not blood, and even girls.

Then a face materialized in the center of the screen, at first it looked blurry, then it came into sharp focus. Sporting a mess of tangled, chin-length hair all around, with thin eyebrows, an evil sneer about the twisted mouth with a long nose, crooked right at the tip. The eyes were wide with a sly look about it. Overall the face was a menacing character with devious plans. He looked around the monitor at the images surrounding him and sneered once more, before his eyes latched onto me.

"Aye! Do you know who i am?"

At that point i was half curious and half scared, it is not always that faces in your monitor talk to you. However i was very apprehensive, and still refused to stutter even a word.

"Soooo... someone's been very mischievious i see. Visiting sites where you shouldn't be!" At the last word the eyes seemed to flare, tiny flames danced in the back of the pupils. "You are in a lot of trouble..." The face laughed in a sing-song manner. I begin experimenting movement of my jaw.

"You want to know who i am don't you?" He almost giggled, in a manner which could only be described as vile. I was taken aback by his statement, how was he to know exactly what i wanted to question?

"Because i am who your parents warned you about." I almost swallowed my tongue. He had taken on a serious tone, the flames in the eyes blazed and he took on an even more menacing appearance.

"I am who your teachers warned you about."

"Who your friends warned you about."

"Who the police warned you about."

"I am everything that everyone warned you about!"

I bit hard on my tongue. He was growing scarier by the second, a violent mood had overtaken his senses, and he seemed liable to leap out and eat me at any moment.

"You may call me... the bad guy..." He laughed again, his own private joke perhaps. The Bad Guy reached for the image of the cigarette and lit it with a flame he produced from the tip of his finger. I was stunned, but even more so when acrid smoke stung my eyes and my sensitive nose.

The Bad Guy cackled evilly, contenting himself on the cigarette by taking long drags and then spouting the smoke directly onto my face. I was absolutely terrified of what was happening.

"So, you chose to disobey everyone and find me. Well, guess what? You did!" Another high-pitched giggle, like it was fun to toy with 9 year olds.

"Now you've found me, we can have fun. I can teach you everything you ever wanted to know about but no one else would teach you. Not that stupid stuff you learn in school kiddo. The real thing. Things adults do!"

He cackled, and one of the images of a woman winked at me. I just stared in horror. The Bad Guy took another drag on that foul cigarette and breathed another gust of stinging smoke at me.

"Do you want to learn how to smoke? Better still, you can try it now! How about alcohol, drugs? Everyone says its bad but you never know till you try, right! Want to see things you never thought you could as a kid? Well... i can arrange that..." The fiend tapped the image of a woman, who smiled and revealed a part of her body. I toppled off my chair at that, and The Bad Guy laughed so hard he choked on his cigarette.

"Kid you are so funny, do you know that? In fact, you're ******* funny!"

What an expletive to use on me, a child of no more than 9 years of age. All of this did nothing but to instill more fear and shock into me. He laughed only harder and flicked the cigarette at me.

To my absolute further shock and horror, the cigarette came whizzing through the air at an alarming speed and it bounced right off my chin. Thankfully, the unlit part had hit me, and i stood staring unblinkingly at the cigarette now lying on the floor, a steady stream of smoke still rising from the embers.

The Bad Guy had opened a bottle of something sweet-smelling, and as i read the label, i was shocked to see it was alcohol. No one in my family ever drunk any, my father said it was ghastly stuff which killed drivers, and my mother would rather fry her hand than touch a drop. So i was quite learned on the subject of staying alcohol-free. The Bad Guy gave a terrific belch and flung the bottle at the wall behind me. I cowered low in terror as sharp pieces of glass rained onto my body.

"Hahahaha! So what say you, kiddo? Still eager for a piece of the action? You couldn't do this anywhere else kiddo! Only on the internet. Only with me!" He cackled some more, the images of forbidden items revolving around his person in a nauseating manner.

"C'mon kiddo! Now's your chance! You can have fun, or be a loser like everyone else!" He laughed even harder and in a much more evil way, if it were possible.

At the word 'chance' i spied the main power plug. I seized my chance.

Leaping forward, i pulled hard, with a burst of sparks and sound, the computer power died and the images and The Bad Guy disappeared. I stood there, trembling, perhaps with shock and perhaps with relief, until i heard a voice.

"Everyone told you not to do these things, ahahahahahahah!" I fell backwards.

This was how my mother found me, in a state of delirium with a smoking stub beside my strong-smelling fingers, and the smell of alcohol hugged my body. Thankfully she would not believe i had touched the foul objects, and instead summoned the police and my father home about a break in. The police classified the case as vandalism. Although i retold my tale a hundred times, they insisted it was the shock of seeing the vandal, and my overactive imagination was creating such characters.

I never touched the internet for such things from that day forth, and never heard from the Bad Guy again.

Now, at the age of 17, i sit here with a cigarette pack beside me and alcohol in the fridge. Every now and then i see a sly face on any website, winking at me, telling me i learnt well.

I learnt well.

thinking loads

2004-06-22T22:11:00.000+08:00

i'm thinking of starting up a new webpage... chock full webpage anyway, which'll take lotsa time... just using simple basic stuff like geocities and a few layouts to create a page. But kinda complex, the whole thing, it'll also take a lot of work, and i'm fucking lazy. so maybe it'll be out. I'll use it for 2trac3 pictures and my blog as well... till then...

A mind only half full

2004-06-21T08:31:00.001+08:00

I was wondering a lot this morning, since i had a lot of time.

My mind is only half full. Maybe it's even less. I say so because whatever i find interesting, i can fill my mind with and store it there for ages.

Take for example some of my more 'creative' or as you would call it, 'lunatic' interests:

-monsters
-ghosts
-psychology
-conspiracy theories (only a few)
-theories of evolution
-more interesting facts

Monsters just happened to be something i started re-reading again. I find the thought that there were once vicious, bloodlusted creatures many of us would only face armed with a submachine gun and full body armour appealing.

Imagination is the key. You would want to sit at the beach with that special someone, on a romantic night, when the moon is shining with the waves gently swirling onto the sand...

When you look into the sea, all is dark within those waters, and kind of peace overwhelms you, with the soothing sounds of water against the beach front.

And from that water you might spy,
A rather colossal mutant eye.
A tentacle whirls and you are taken,
By the monstrous giant Kraken.

Hah! Innovative, that was. But it's really cool, most of this stuff. The minotaur, Nessie, dragons... but fuck bigfoot.

Ghosts are great as well. I mean, the thought of beings from another plane... Just like aliens in a way i guess.

Psychology isn't really my forte, but it still pulls my interests... as well as a few conspiracy theories, some of which i whole heartedly support.

Theories of evolution really rock. I don't recall much of who started which and all... but there are a few i really believe in...

Like the evolution of dinosaurs to birds. That is probable, and you might also guess i'm into dinosaurs. I recall that smaller groups in isolation will evolve faster tending to the body's needs... Though faster could be a million years, it's still something.

I believe now that computers, TV, cars, any sort of gadget that is widely available and offers more convenience readily slows down evolution. Seeing that we live in a world of convenience now...

Take it like this. A long time ago, man had to constantly migrate in search of food, he had to climb trees to eat fruit. Then came eating meat, this required tools, the spear and axe of such notority, this all forced an evolutionary purpose within the body to occur. Man soon learned to make tools, this required more dextrous fingers, and a more evolved mind...

Well it gets rather complicated, suffice to say that if there are 10 people living in the cold mountains, and 10 living in the hot deserts, if they survive for a million years, both groups would be able to walk around in their underwear every day. That's evolution, the triggered change due to a necessity...

And our necessity is slowed right now. By convenience.

Well i've blabbed enough now.

I'm becoming old i think. I've forgotten the meanings and spellings of a few english words... I had to actually check up on 'pyrrhic victory' and 'megalomaniac'.

Anyway i've come to terms with my mind, that killing brain cells is fun. So we should all live in total ignorance, while i smoke and suffer myself, but i still smile. If you don't understand what i just typed, it doesn't matter cause it's funny seeing you try to remember to take a dictionary and see what those words mean. Haha...

By the way i have another blog up and running soon... it'll be at http://www.geocities.com/nabeinazir, OR http://nabeiz.diary-x.com

Most likely it'll be at diary-x... but no use going there since everything'll be password protected. very personal stuff. love that certain someone still, maybe even more.

The brothers return

2004-06-21T02:24:00.000+08:00

Back from another camp, Sports Club camp this time.

The camp kinda seemed to suck at first, but then we got into the swing of things although we didn't get enough to eat or sleep, because it was a do one or the other kinda time.

I'm happiest cause i went there with my brothers, Joel, Hakim, Hashim, Shakthi... Though Amal and Raimi aren't there, it was still okay...

HIGHLIGHTS- Every single break time, we'd tell the Group Leaders we needed to go to the toilet, and they'd simply reply

- "Don't get caught ah, and come back quickly."

The first night, where there was night catching at T20 and the area around it... Me Joel, Blo and Arab wanted to be the best team, and we hella were. Except at one point the GL's came from two directions and i had to flip it outta there, cos arab and blo went off downwards whereas Joel got caught and i had to go up. Close calls after that, but i made my way down to meet the two guys.

We went to the back of the building first to hide out a while, then GLs came so we had to split. At that point we lost sight of arab. Later, at the same place, GLs came again, i dashed to the corner but doubled back, and sure enough the GLs had gone to cut us off. Hakim had sprinted below a staircase, but i was surrounded.

PK RULES! I scaled that damn hilly area by jumping from area to area where i got firm handholds. They simply said "Wah piang eh!" as i went up up and away. I was isolated from then, up and down, mingling with other groups before we split again and again.

Later i went down and met Hakim again, still hiding below that damn staircase. I joined him under there in our totally cool camouflage black jackets, where we crouched like idiots whispering.

About 15 minutes later we headed for high ground up the buildings, walking through air-conditioned areas, and shouting at GLs, haha. We made it back to the foyer where blo did a victory dance to celebrate winning. We were also reunited with arab, who went somewhere to sleep thus never got caught. Also with joel, who kept saying 'bastard' over and over.

- Climbed out of school.

The same night as catching, me, Shak (who went home to get his stuff during catching) bernard (this guy we met who could be a brother) hakim, arab met up with three other girls, nurul, huda and nadiah :D. My mummy was kinda spooked cos of something that happened to her during her nightwalk... She totally ignored me at least thrice until i called her.

"Ibu ibu?" Then she suddenly snapped outta it and smiled at me. At that point i was so melted you could spread me on bread and chomp down. It was great being around her again. We all went to 7-11 then arab shak and bernard went to watch soccer, while me, hakim, ibu and those two girls sat down to eat instant stuff from 7-11. Nurul and Huda couldn't stop laughing at two alcoholic drinks (we didn't drink, just the names we mentioned) Black Cat and Wild Turkey. Man those two are on some sorta drug. Then we joined back with the 3 guys at the coffee shop.

I would've stayed longer to watch the match, Italy were 1-0 against Sweden at half-time. But ibu was sick and very down so we all decided to head back. On the way back it was more chaos with remixes of every song, then me and Hakim went into a deep conversation between the characters of Doraemon, which suddenly made ibu go hyperactive and sing disney songs and make funny noises. I can't stand how cute she is. It should be illegal to make me smile that much.

Climbed back in and we guys just walked past the GLs who were surprised we were there.

"Just came back right?"

"Duh."

-Water Games

4 water games, each equally fun. Our group started off with captain's ball first, which we pulled off with a win thanks to Desmond, Katik and some of the girl's nice passing. Joel was the lazy bastard at the back who never let me have a turn to slack.

Then it was on to swimming to one point, putting on a clothing article then swimming back, to pass it on. The clothes kept piling. We would've won without a doubt but Desmond's clothes kept falling off, so we lost due to waste of time.

Next was Canoe polo, water polo in canoes. 5 guys against 5 guys in the first half, and i scored the only goal. Also was kinda fun when i tipped this guy's canoe over when he came too close. We won two-one in the end.

Last but not least was some stupid game where we had to find placards in the baby pool to spell out stuff, and also find coins. We lost all but one part, but i walked away with $1.10. Highly worth it.

-The race

There was sort of a race around school to do stuff, which was kinda fun. The best was eating biscuits, a whole pack in one and a half minutes. I'd take a small bite, and my palm would crush the rest. Haha, needless to say we cleared that.

We were tied together then had to run around, do some more stuff...

We came in one of the later groups but still was great.

-Hashim's insanity

Hashim went insane due to sleep deprivation the 2nd day. He fell asleep a bit, then Hakim woke him up and said he wanted to go to the toilet to freshen up. And Hashim replied: "Okay, bring it here."

Then he went up to the third floor, where there was nothing whatsoever, then back down to the 2nd floor, where he stood right in front of another group for quite a while, and told one guy he was 'gonna queue to get in'.

Later when we told him of his adventures, he claimed he dreamt he wanted to go to the toilet and the toilet was in the club...

He is fucked in the head.

-That night

We were smoking opp the field while Sports Club were 'bombing' SPSU. We'd never join in. My brother Jack simply shut up, while Joel stood in the middle of the foodcourt to stop the two clubs from bombing, haha.

Later, a group of us, me shak arab joel jack zul and three girls and a couple of guys we just met, were sitting outside our bunks talking. Me joel shak and arab were sneaking into rooms and giving those who were snoring away the toothpaste treatment. Extremely gross some thing joel did, but Jack got facial cleanser in the ears, Moley got toothpaste to hide that mole and his lips, this guy who received the worst treatment had cleanser and toothpaste all over him.

Ryan that motherfucker also got the treatment, and he was the only one where i insisted on doing it to. He woke up suddenly with "What the hell-" and Joel dropped to sleep right beside him, i dashed out that door. Hahahaha... stupid cunt.

Then the group of us all walked off to T11A, where it was time to eat instant noodles at the only vending machine selling those. We talked a bit, smoked a bit, i made friends with this really pretty girl, and we all had a good time... Later we headed back, talked a while then me arab bernard and jack were off to meet nadiah (not my mummy). On the way we met my mummy and nurul and huda, so i'd rather talk to mummy anyday, thus i stayed.

Hakim was there, he supposedly climbed out a while ago. So he went off to meet my mummy without telling me. Bastard. For that i toothpasted him that night too.

Mummy had to run off and back a while, the seniors in SPSU apparently hate us for being around. Well we're around a lot because we really loved the SPSU camp and some people, the rest of them could kindly please fuck off before we screw the hell outta you?

Later nadiah came and i talked with her a while then set off back to the bunk. Only Hashim wasn't asleep, so we toothpasted Joel, who woke up cursing. Later we did Shak and blo, but when shak went back to sleep i hit him with 1/4 tube. He woke up with a damn fresh face. Me and joel were hiding under the tables laughing away.

Morning came, and after breakfast we decided to split, so me and blo said we had religious class, arab had some family stuff and joel and bernard and shak had church. We headed to a coffeeshop for a bite and a drink, then back to the mrt. bernard went the other way, then we were heading east. I got a seat, and when blo sat beside me, i only remember shak and arab shaking my hand to say bye, then hakim woke me up so i wouldn't miss pasir ris. Thanks bro, but i'd still toothpaste you.

All in all it was a great camp, though i roughly had a total of two hours sleep in three days. I just woke up anyway, i slept at around 11 and woke at 1.50 a.m. Talk about dead whacked.

More dangerous things to do around your house

2004-06-17T01:56:00.000+08:00

Bored? Tired of the same boring routine? Want to do something fun, exciting, that may include the risk of losing your fingers?

----------***WARNING***-----------

Anything you see or read here and if you decide to carry it out on your own or with expert assistance, you do so at your own risk, of being severely beaten when your parents find out.

So you've read the disclaimer, and now you want to get into the action, go full-swing, lose an eye or two? Perhaps you're just depressed and need to do something intellectually stimulating, or in layman's terms, mind-blowing, literally.

First you'll need a few things lying around your house, anything that can move really fast, is really sharp, really heavy or has anything that may render any being such as yourself unconscious, or even better, into a coma.

To try the more interesting experiments, but fear the wrath of your parents, you could, at the very least, make full use of your friends homes. You simply need the above-mentioned apparatus, or some from the suggested list below:

-Blender
-Toaster
-Microwave oven
-Stove
-Handy pack full o' knives
-Any electrical output
-Deep bass speakers
-Ice cubes (for rushing your body parts to the nearest hospital)

Alright! You set? The appliances in place? Your heart stop thumping? Then get ready kids! We're gonna have a really great time, at least till the crying stops!

GAME NUMBER #1

Sparks are pretty

This game is relatively simple. You will need the microwave, and several pieces of metal, you may use cutlery, pots and pans. You may play this game alone or with a friend. First, throw in one piece of cutlery inside. If playing alone, you may pick at random what you throw inside. If with a friend, it is suggested two of each piece of metal be present.

The idea is to simply challenge who can last the longest with their faces pressed against the microwave! For two people it is recommended two microwaves of equal brand and longevity. Then throw in one each, and set the power to 'high' and time to one minute. Keep throwing in stuff! The one who survives the high-powered microwave explosion wins! You'll surely 'have a blast!'

GAME NUMBER #2

No Pain, No Fingers

Blender time! This game is a little more advanced, you will need a button of sorts. The button should be placed below those lethal looking blender blades. Leave only one blade to rotate, to give yourself a fighting chance.

Then, simply, while the blender is turned 'on', stick one finger, as fast as possible, to attempt to depress the button. If you do it, you win! Till the button is not depressed, keep trying! A whole lot of stumpy laughs and psychotic paranoia as you receive the mental setback when you believe you still have all of your fingers!

GAME NUMBER #3

Slice and Dice

This is a two player game, or you may play alone, though alone should only be a training session of sorts. You will need four tables, two tables set on their sides as a barrier, and your back leaning heavily against the bottom of the table. The other tables should be placed in front of you, meaning that you and your friend are back to back. Then, place the knives on the table, with their blades facing away from you.

Hit the grip of the knives hard, attempting to catapult them at 60km/h towards the table behind you! The objective is to sink it deep enough to hear that you've scored a direct hit, straight into your friend's back! 50 points if you score directly on the spinal cord!

GAME NUMBER #4

MY TOAST TO YOU

Another two player game, or if you choose, simply a game of endurance. Place toasters side by side, with a two minute setting. Then, fingers straight (this may be a problem after game number #2) and palm into the toaster compartments! Hit the lever, and enjoy the faint aroma of burning flesh! Whose hand pops out crispier triumphs!

GAME NUMBER #5

HOME ROULETTE

This game is like russian roulette in a way. Simply have one of those handy 5 point electrical outputs, and a small metal rod. Cover the top of the switches so it is impossible to see whether it's switched on or off. Have a friend pick one switch to be on. Then, taking your luck, jab directly into one of the plug inputs!

The first one to be shocked to an electrifying death is out of the game! Great for parties and the like!

GAME NUMBER #6

MUSICAL STOVES

For conventional stoves this may be a problem, best is still those centralized stoves where you can go directly around it. Since there are usually four areas, you may play with four people. Dance around like in musical chairs, and when the music stops, everyone has to grab a 'stove' and be seated.

After each round, a stove is lighted, and everyone MUST sit! The one who can endure the flaming pain may continue to the next rounds, where someone could be eliminated in a fiery way!

That's the end of the games for today. Don't hesitate to try it out NOW! Remember, if your parents ask what you're doing, simply take a blunt stick and poke them in the eye.

You may only do this if you haven't played game #2.

Attracting girls 101

2004-06-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

So you're a teenage guy looking for love in the small city called Singapore, or to some, Singapura. If you're still pondering the relevance of that starting sentence, you seriously need to take english lessons.

Well!

You want to learn to, as we old pros say, "Pick up chickens without wings".

The methods posted here have been trialed and tested, so any failure on your part suggests you visit a plastic surgeon for an area we cannot fix simply by talking.

Firstly, you need to realize whether you have any opposition. This may prove to be an obstacle in your path, especially if you look like, in comparison to them, as what we experts call "The thing that bulges when you bend over" or in scientific terms, your ass.

The opposition, no matter how smooth, handsome, charming, etc., can easily be handled, via a method called the 'slice and dice'. You may order through this site a handy 'use-then-dispose' pickaxe or chainsaw for the lowest discounted prices. (Be sure to wipe the fingerprints)

Now that the competition is away (in several pieces i might add), all you need to do is summon one thing to get the ball rolling, which is your courage. Courage may come in many forms, like whether you scream when you jump off a cliff, or whether you wet your pants while gangsters are hanging you by your ankles. But you require courage here to actually go up to the girl, walk to her, siddle up next to her in a suave manner, flash her the smile, give her an eyeful, and then wet your pants.

Oops sorry, i mean then you begin a conversation. Many a time would you ask, "How do i begin talking to her?" It's highly recommended you open your mouth for beginners. After that you may start with one of these trialed pick-up lines.

-"Eh be careful you'll get" (point to the floor) "Get what?" "Get punk'd" (sorry this is for hakim.

-"Is it just me, or does your eyes say 'love me' and your body says 'love me more'?

-"If love was a river, i'm drowning at the sight of you.

Now guys, i know it sounds corny but you have to remember girls love corny stuff. Oh wait, they love romance, and romance is actually being corny, ask any girl, and they'll slap you hard enough to remove three teeth.

But being romantic has it's advantages, besides the love, the togetherness, to feelings, romantic guys also tend to achieve what you never will, which is to get laid a damn lot. And i know this is basically what every guy wants, except they call it "making love". It's the same context as saying that taking drugs is to "achieving enlightenment".

Once you start talking, pretty soon you two will get closer, be it your animal magnetism or because you've subconsciously threatened to kill her if she dare reject you. If the latter, i suggest you run when you realize that, if the former, don't hesitate to ask her out on dates or to visit her bed...room.

When you see her around, and you're with your friends, be sure to give her friendly wave, and avoid accidentally waving the wrong body appendages. This could result in

A)Being screamed at
B)Being whacked
C)Getting laid

So there's always a risk involved in everything. My suggestion is you wave the hand anyway.

YOUR FIRST KISS YOU SAY?

Maybe you didn't need all that starting crap, now all you wanna do is give her a kiss?

Firstly it depends where you want to kiss her, but i certainly hope you don't hesitate to give me the details regarding which part-

-wait.

Back to the subject. If you want to give her a kiss to remember, avoid kissing her with enough saliva around the mouth to float a boat. Instead, like all guys, wipe your mouth on your sleeve, and make sure she doesn't see it.

You will also need a romantic area, such as a beach or port, where there's the soothing sounds of water gently stroking the shore, the area around you bathed in a light moonlit glow, and the rumbling of bushes from another couple who's 'taking it one step further, if you get what i mean.'

The first kiss should always be sudden, but i gently forewarn you this should not be done in front of a second party, for example her parents. The kiss would be remembered by a fist rising up to make you see stars, which i assure you will not come with the kiss.

So while she's saying how romantic it is, pull her close to you, look deep into her eyes and a suggestive glance at her lips, then rip her clothes off.

Oh no, that is if she gives you the suggestive glance at another anatomical construct of your body.

What i meant to say was, glance at her lips, then slowly, like you see in the movies, bring your head close to her and kiss her. This sounds relatively simple, but i assure you, it would be easier to teach leopards to sing "In Da Club".

How to kiss you ask? Wet? Dry? Tongue? Bite?

No no no, everyone has their own kissing style, just a friendly warning you should refrain from trying to take a piece of flesh from her face. It'll all come naturally, such as the erection you will receive while kissing. Maybe you will have one anyway. Just hope she doesn't notices.

Anyway this concludes today's lesson. I hope one day, i'll see a perfectly happy couple, and it could be one i helped to create.

Now please don't bother me any more. I'm off to the corny beach.

The other side

2004-06-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Viscous fluid from his head flows,
The conscious effort is what he knows,
The mirror tells another tale,
The sign his life was up for sale.

Know not does he the path he'll take,
Though alert he is of his mistakes,
Nary a sound does he pronounce,
What matters most he has renounced.

The mirror mocks him once more,
His heart has died within it's core.
For what more choices may he decide,
For only God knows he has tried.

Family and love two things he's missed,
The endless curses he has hissed,
Why do others have their share,
When he was left out of their care?

Blame not he does of all the rest,
Instead himself endured the test.
To how much longer it would prevail,
He'd see the end and then turn tail.

Chances in his vicinity,
Yet he'd let loose oppurtunities,
To regain the life he had once lost,
To pride and hatred shelled at no cost.

Regret he feels to how he's fared,
His pain inside cannot be shared,
To now exists only one he cares,
But for him she cannot be there.

To live life like a cigarette stick,
No matter how long it is nor thick,
Once he's pulled it to the end,
The ones he cares for will lose a friend.

Consider now does he of change,
Though it may always seem strange,
To give this life for something new,
Something that never concerns you.

Because right now there is no fear,
That i will someday disappear.
Return would i to face this life,
Though it may be ended with a knife.

Worry not now should those who care,
I'll always remember you are there.
If come a time death i should find,
First i'd have you all in mind.

Maybe i'd smoke less now. I'm considering quitting for good. I'm considering becoming... better. To change things with my parents, because i know they've tried. To try and make myself better. Love is still out of the question, something i'll only seek a long time for now. To be content with what i have means a lot... but mainly i want to thank all of you who's been there for me. Whatever path i choose...

It will always end with all of you.

To the one i love -

I hope for nothing now. I may say things but it'll always end the same, i can't bring myself to change things between us. Never will there be a time i was happier or more in pain to have met someone. I'm sorry if i said things wrong. I just hope that your life goes as you want it, and mine... to follow the path i considered.

The vacuum

2004-06-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

This is serious, for one of those few rare times...

Anyway i'm not continuing what happened at KL, because i don't wanna remember it all.

Now...

Most of my life is basically a vaccuum. Some might envy my freedom, some might loathe the thought of it, but i don't like my existence now. No, i despise my existence.

I don't see the point in it. I don't see the point in waking up everyday to go out, meet friends, come home, sleep, repeat. Sure i'm only surviving cos i got the greatest bunch of friends in the world, Amal, Hakim, Shak, Aziz, Maniam, Joel, even that pesky camel Arab. But it's getting to me, and sooner or later i'll snap...

My life at home with my parents is going up and down, fortifying itself then detereorating. I play the main part in detereoration, because as a teen, i'm filled with vile hatred and angst towards everything that doesn't go my way.

The thing is, i've always said it, and always taught everyone who needed it, that a teenager needs at least one of the following to survive. Family, Friends, Love.

I envy you faz (and this is one of the rare times i'll call u faz) and hashim. You two have each and every of the three. Needless to say both of you think i'm stupid for wanting to commit suicide, for wanting to end a life.

But sorry to say, both of you have never been in my position. You've never been pushed right to the very edge. Remember that time? Kicked outta my house, no other girl to love me or care for me, all i had was you guys, yet none of you could see the way i am now is just a front for the fucking pain everywhere else. Topping it off, the police were after me.

At that point i felt more alone in the world than anything. I'm sorry you guys if it seemed i didn't have much faith in you. But family gone and my ex... It just took too much out of me.

AZIZ, you'll never lose your family because you harbour nothing against them. You hold no qualms about telling your family your issues... damn i wish they'd adopt me. Hashim i don't wanna say anything to you. Because besides family, you have sheesha. Fuck you. Unless you want to change a big one with mine.

Anyway now i feel it so badly... having friends. I'm sorry again guys. It may seem that all of you are of little importance to me, but as i tried to show again and again, all of you guys are my highest and only priority.

Girlfriends? What's the use. I felt love for a very short period of time, just recently. Then things went awry, i found she was with someone else... there were other influencing factors, but till now i still keep in contact with her.

I wonder why. It's killing me if anything. I can't live this lie, to be chasing after hopes and dreams. This vaccuum is sucking up my entire ability to love and feel emotions... there is only angst and hatred of the entire system.

To you who might read this... i'm sorry. I know that you understand this was meant for you to see, to read about how i feel... I don't want to keep in contact with you anymore. Just a frantic dream of being cared for. Maybe you do care for me. Maybe you don't. All i know is that you're attached, and that's the way it always should be.

What is love.

What is hope.

I used to believe in hope. Maybe i still do. It sounds childish, but every night i'd look up to the sky. When the more stars show, the more i believe there will be hope for me... it's proved to be right time and again. But now... stars just stay there out of my reach. The sky...

The sky in the morning. Today when i was on the bus heading for home i saw this patch of sky.

It was nothing out of the ordinary, yet so spectacular and eye-catching i wondered why i was the only one looking up.

It does not do well to dwell with your head in the clouds. Someone once said that. Someone needs to be shot in the eyes.

This particular view was amazing... smaller clouds filtered in and out of the skyline (no damnit nothing to do with the car) so you could never tell which was sky and which was cloud. It meant a lot to me. Maybe because i believe i want to be in the sky. A child's dreams perhaps, but it helps me retain what's left of my sanity.

Hope is the quintessential human emotion, the source of our greatest strength and simultaneously the source of our greatest strength.

I first heard that in 'The Matrix Reloaded'. It's true, it is. Sometimes we just hope to much. Like i've been hoping. But what for? That a perfect couple would break it off just so i would be happy?

Hashim you know me now. I'd rather die then see you unhappy without her. (unless you lose your phone, then we can be better friends. And this ain't bout you and her)

Love... Only the greatest fools fall in love, love is one that destroys the greatest plans and everything, that screws the entire system. Maybe that's why most of you... I envy. To be in love with someone who loves you as well. Fools. Like i want to be.

Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect desperately trying to justify an existence that is without meaning nor purpose!

'The Matrix Revolutions'. That makes sense as well.

Then again, only a human mind would invent something as insipid as love.

Revolutions again.

It's true, if you were to look at it's reality side. It means a lot, that you would make sacrifices for love, big or small sacrifices. Love really is a stupid thing... which is why many of us, when called stupid, should gracefully accept it.

I envy many people now. I despise my existence, because i'm filled with delusions of grandeur and not one thing to counter my... Relish for afterlife.

I'm sorry to you... i'm don't want to destroy myself any further. I can't be with you, no doubt, so i don't want to hurt myself, or you, if i ever did, any further.

Take care everyone. Especially you fools.

Stress management 2004

2004-06-12T03:06:00.000+08:00

I see many young people today deluged with stress.

As they read this now, they see the word 'deluged', and hasten to consult a dictionary, further burdened by stress. Pretty soon babies will be born already with white hair and a nervous eye-twitch.

The main causes of stress are rather unapparent to most adults these days, they see teenagers equipped with handphones, going out with their partners, having fun, and they wonder what might cause stress.

Here's a little list of the main causes of stress.

- Relationship problems
- Financial problems
- Clothing problems
- School problems
- Rain problems

Oh yes, rain may cause stress. It is believed that if it were to rain hard enough, the protective layer of gel on a guy's head would wash away, leaving him vulnerable to disease and most importantly, looking like he was born in the 50's.

Relationship problems? "But teenagers are all in just some sort of puppy love, isn't it?" One foolhardy adult may ask, before screaming as hundreds of evil tree-bark ants scurry out and devour his teeth and thumbs.

Adults fail to see teenagers place priority and importance on relationships as much as they place priority on being cool. To the teenager who is not cool, a relationship, he sees, would immediately push that guy who always had his shirt tucked out in a fashionable manner right off the top of the list.

Adults of course, insist teenagers should prioritize right and concentrate more on studies. This is of course, similar to the recent 1998 attempts of trying to teach cows to enjoy eating human flesh. You do get weirdos in every breed.

Financial wise, teenagers are very smart. If there were to arise a chance they could buy a pair of jeans for only $99.95, instead of the usual $100.00, they would immediately seize that chance before it slips away like an eel in the grasp. Thus when they look extremely rich and snazzy dressed in designer clothing, they may 'wow' and 'woo' the crowd by waving their currently empty wallets.

This also brings rise to the clothing problem, when blinded and foolish parents think owning a mere 247 articles of clothing may be sufficient to the modern youngster.

So any of you out there, who knows you're suffering from stress, and don't think you can take it any more. Don't turn to drugs or cigarettes or any of the sort! Come to me now! Bring your parents along!

I'll bring the 1998 cows.

2nd day at KL

2004-06-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

I don't really recall much of the 2nd day...

I remember i woke up at about 5 though, i saw Salleh and Jafar in front of me. They were lounging around talking to Gadri. hashim was still knocked out. Somewhere along the way i dropped back into sleep, and when i awoke salleh and jafar were gone, and the other two were sleeping.

I took a shower first and changed into light PK clothing. Hashim showered next and gadri got pissed cos there were only two towels, haha...

We went out to eat i guess, though we waited for Amal first. He knocked on the door and declared loudly he was 'Pencegah Maksiat Seks'. We headed around... we ate roughly at about 5 or 6 i guess.

We checked out a few areas at night, went to Bangsar to shoot some pool then we ate pizza and had sheesha.

Only this certain part of that night do i CLEARLY recall.

I'm not sure what time it was, but Jafar was gonna bring us around in his car.

So we squeezed into his Proton Wira, which was basically stock except for engine timing. Jafar and Salleh up front with me Amal hashim and gadri squeezed in the back. Then Jafar took off...

AND MAN.

He's one hell of a driver. He revved the engine and blew past other cars at 160. Then there was this particular curve which he took at 140...

We never noticed it. Until one point when i was looking at the curve of the road and the car, realizing something was out of place. It clicked then Gadri shouted it out.

"We're fucking drifting sia!"

And drifting we were, the tires screaming and the engine roaring. I was particularly crushed in the car but it ruled man...

Like Jafar said, "Dare to drive like this in Singapore?"

Hell no.

We went around town looking for action but his parents called and we had to cut it short. We went back for more cup noodles and snacks then headed back..

1st day KL part two

2004-06-10T05:32:00.000+08:00

Okay this is part two of the first day. By which time is actually already the SECOND day... but night is night...

So we were in da club.

The first thing you would notice was that it was incredibly packed, you couldn't move around inside without body contact. The five of us spent quite a few minutes trying to find a nice place to dance.

Unfortunately, mood killer was that almost everyone in the main area was drinking or smoking, no one seemed to understand that music was thumping for them to start moving. Some did move, with cute little hand motions that would not look out of place in a 'Barney' movie.

There were a few back rooms, which were MEANT for people to drink and smoke but only THERE were there anyone dancing. So the five of us were already in the mood, i don't recall which RnB song they were playing when we first got down, but dance we did...

Though it was annoying that every few seconds someone would push past and kill everything. Nonetheless it was enjoyable.

First point, before i forget. Hot chicks? Try no show. Though when we were trying to move into the room, there were two really wild ones going crazy with seductive hyper dances which were drawing attention likes bees to honey, or is that bees to pollen?

Well when i tried to move past one of them decided that i was a pole or her partner, maybe she was drunk. Truth be told, i didn't mind, though it was highly embarrassing. Besides, she'd chosen to go all slutty on the youngest guy there. Shortest youngest guy anyway.

Anyway a couple of nice tracks came on, in the room we were still dancing, no chicks though, except a couple of stares. Usher's 'yea', Linkin Park's 'Somewhere I Belong'... The hilarious thing was other guys dancing there. It seems the malaysia clubbing scene involves mostly couples or groups. So the five of us were solo all the way, the other guys who came with girls were doing little hand movements or impressive (by which i mean big and stupid) actions with their hands and legs. Their bodies wouldn't move if they'd been stabbed in the arm.

I spent most of my time watching these guys try to draw praise and magnetism, the girls seemed happy to just dance along though i thought they gave as much magnetism as a wooden club.

Jafar and Salleh left a while later, for reasons i don't recall. The mood kinda died down after that, me Hashim and Gadri headed for a drink (pepsi x) and then went to the main area to dance somemore. There were other guys dancing alone.

One in particular stood out. He had a Japanese/Chinese look, and was dressed in a school-wannabe uniform complete with tie and white sneakers. He did some funky dancing, which i believe would make chickens do the Tango. He drew appreciative claps and giggles from the audience, though he did look crestfallen no babe approached him and begged him to bring her home.

Ingrid's 'You promised me' was the first and last techno like song... my club favourite 'In Da Club' and a few others came... then at 3.30 we split.

I was wearing shoes a size too small and my little toes ached as did my heels. We went to a nearby coffeeshop to have a drink then we walked back...

Back in the hotel i proceeded to spill water from the stupid kettle then no one bathed cos we realized we didn't have soap. Gadri and hashim ate instant noodles and i changed and flopped into bed. I was out before i knew it.

1st day at KL

2004-06-09T04:20:00.000+08:00

Okay now i've cooled down (thanks ibu and papa) i can see the finer points of our trip...
There's a truck load to talk about so most likely i'll only be on one of the days first.

I did get a couple hours sleep friday morning then i was off in the cab towards Golden Mile complex. It was a long ride and when i got out, i saw a group of arab women, which were unlikely to be unrelated to Hashim. So i busied myself in a far corner by smsing the last few times and calling a few people...

Gadri, Hashim's cousin, came with Hashim in the next cab. We talked a bit, hashim introduced me to three of his guy cousins or 2nd cousins or 3rd cousins or uncles or nephews, then i made a few payments to his mom and it was off to the bus.

The bus sucked. Well that was what hashim whined about all the way, but luckily i was sleeping most of the time. The customs check went smoothly and we passed most of the time sleeping or talking. Played a few rounds of cards before we hit Subang.

Time for Hashim and Gadri to say goodbye to their mothers, because me, Jafar, Salleh, hashim and gadri were off to KL, taking the train there. We were to make it seperately, though Jafar was Malaysian and Salleh was staying at his place. The transitional stuff was kinda fluid and we were checking out Malaysia Hotel at bukit bintang before we knew it.

Did i say Malaysia Hotel? Sorry...

I realize the horrendous error, i do so beg your pardon, allow me to reintroduce -

-------------------THE Malaysia Hotel------------------

It was one hell of a place. For one thing there was always this guy in the lobby, even at 1 or 2 am. This guy also would be called a 'ladyboy' if you get my drift. Then our room was furthest back at the 2nd floor, and missing an alarm light. No matter, but we opened the door in anticipation anyway.

Needless to say, it was everything we wanted, one double and one single bed, television, toilet. The double bed however, had a v-mattress so two people lying on it basically sunk to the middle. A lizard skittered away at the sight of us, baby cockroaches ducked for cover. The toilet was elaborate, in the meaning it 'elaborately invited us to leave as quickly as possible'.

Looking out our window, a spectacular view of rooftop scenery... the dirty zinc rooftops being two meters away and otherwise we were surrounded by equally tainted buildings. Watching paint peel took off many hours of eventful time for us.

I tried to turn on the switch to the bedside lamp, but it lacked mobility. Not the lamp though, the switch. Someone had obviously used industrial strength paint to coat the entire switch, and though i punched it several times it was like trying to convince a toddler not to dump his load all over the floor.

But our all time favourite had to be the drawer at the bedside table. Innocent looking enough, i opened it a fraction to check for more lizards, cockroaches, money, snakes, anacondas, etc. and found...

That it would be impossible, because it lacked something highly educated experts call 'the bottom of the drawer'.

So i called out to gadri and told him, "Yo gadri, we got a real safe place to keep our stuff", and popped the drawer. He laughed harder than when he was trying to activate the air-conditioning, which thankfully, did not attempt to spit semi-cooked mice at our heads.

I don't really recall where we went after that, maybe to eat i guess, but i'm not sure where. We walked around a bit then headed back to our room to change for our main purpose...

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!

There also was this tiny hiccough in our plans, being that me and Hashim had enough legality to enter the club as we had legality of smoking marijuana. So we consulted Amal who's STILL there and he said he could help us get into Nuovo..

Then he couldn't...

Then he could...

Then we could try...

Then we had no hope...

Then he could bring us in...

So we were a bit fucked. The five of us headed outside some hotel to meet Amal. His brother came and explained how it was to us. You can imagine how Hashim felt when his brother said it wouldn't be a problem getting gadri, salleh and him into Nuovo but for me and jafar he was unsure.

Oh fine, just cause we have each other's names pick on us.

In the end, we decided against it and headed for Beach Club, right opposite. Using Salleh's IC i could get in no sweat on the first try but Hashim didn't have an IC. So we planned and tried again this time Hashim took gadri's IC, but me him and jafar went in first. Gadri and Salleh came later using their drving license to get in. Then it was ON.

I'll finish up the rest soon..

KL trip

2004-06-08T23:16:00.000+08:00

I'd elaborate a lot about my trip to KL... but i'll save it for another time. I'm too lazy. Too tired. Too fucked.

Short story is my handphone got stolen.

The rest of the trip was okay.

Will give full details another time, when i'm through being pissed.

Miss u ibu.

Sigh

2004-06-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'm bored being this way.

I hate waking up everyday.

I hate facing my family.

I hate girls all around me.

I feel i just wanna drink.

There's something about visuality that induces a sense of yearning within you..

There was once when i was reading 'The Outsiders' and when i read about Ponyboy and Jonnycake smoking i was just itching to have a stick myself. I seriously wonder what'll happen when i read an erotic story.

Anyway if i get over this insanity i'll go back to standard blogging.

Death Omen

2004-05-31T04:53:00.000+08:00

Well it happened like this:

Me, Hakim and Shakthi were bored.

So we decided to head over to the carpark to do a little parkour and chill out.

We'd been tired and were just lounging around in a corner, talking and joking when..

Ok, to get the idea of what we experienced, open your eyes fully in front of a halogen, or better still, car headlights and suddenly switch it on.

The flash came first, at which i was blinded and stunned. Then was this defeaning roar which came just a little to the left of us.

You might guess this was thunder and lightning, but seriously, it couldn't be. It's most likely an omen of something, a DEATH OMEN.

It scared the hell out of us, because i sat there gaping, Hakim stared at my foot and Shak just mouthed wordlessly, until he finally urged us on, "Go NOW. Go."

Thankfully our items were spread right in front of us. I grabbed everything as did they and we sprinted for shelter, running as if wild hyenas on motorcycles were after us with machine guns.

But the thing was, it was scary. Right after the flash, and the burst of sound, we all took in that one solitary shove of fear straight past our viewing organs straight into our hearts.

To register our fear, to experience something like it, preform this little experiment.

Equipment necessary -

-Blender
-Nails
-Screws

Step one: Place nails and screws into blender (turned OFF)
Step two: Place face directly over blender.
Step three: Activate blender and stare directly inside for 10 seconds.

Well, tried it? Get to it!

I'm still scared. The shock is still there. What do i know now? What kind of a sign was it?

Well when we went back to my place, the power was out.

And I heard a lot more noises in the kitchen than usual.

Maybe i'm just being paranoid, but i could swear the sofa was giving me the evil eye.

So you now know what i had gone through, and want to better protect yourself from these evil omens? No sweat, dust off those voodoo dolls, polish your cauldrons and let's stop beating up the poor bush as the Professor of Omens takes you on a guided tour to self-protection!

Omen 1: Wildlife

Wildlife can play an essential part to predicting your upcoming fate. For example, ants scatter when rain is approaching, dogs whine when earthquakes are near and apes eat fleas when hungry.

So the next time you see your pet acting strangely, like your goldfish attempting to chew off your arm, be prepared for the worst.

Omen 2: Weather

The weather is as always an integral part in interpreting your future. For example, if it rains hard, it's a sign that things will be gloomy, and if it rains cats and dogs, you'd better stay indoors.

And if it REALLY rains REAL cats and dogs, i suggest you start absconding any recent sins and praying.

Omen 3: Jinxed

Was there ever a day when you just knew everything would go wrong? When you walk around, you trip a lot, bang into things, slip up?

Well there are two things to try, one being to keep indoors as much as possible away from crowds, and two finding smaller sized shoes so you don't be such a klutz.

Omen 4: Obvious signs

Sometimes things around you just show what could happen. Like an unusual number of accidents, the best student in class getting lots of wrong answers, you feel unusually cold and find you forgot to wear your pants...

Take heed of my warning, if there ever is any sign of these omens, i suggest you grab the nearest thing next to you, be it a pencil, handphone, cigarette or undergarment, hold it up high and shout "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" in a whiny high pitched tone then migrate to Australia.

So be careful, as i am being now. Because my goldfish is giving me the evil eye.

SPSU camp

2004-05-31T00:35:00.000+08:00

I haven't been updating with 'standard' entries, so here is my first in a loooooong time.

Camp was fun. The first few days were fun as well, in the same essence as saying, "Hey, i really did love being hit in the eyes with that pepper spray!" or the fun Barney'll have when Hakim comes up screaming, "Hey kids, let's fuck Barney!"

Well what counted was the 2nd last and the last day. It counted because on the second day, four of us disappeared from the camp. At the look on my mother's face i seriously didn't wanna leave. She looked angry, but i could see she was hiding her feelings. I used to hide my feelings as well, which could explain why i forgot how to cry when i bleed.

The fact is, all of us missed home. Home, being camp. Camp had our family, our family consisting of two seniors from SPSU and the rest were freshmen.

So now i sit in my original house, looking at Jaffar and Khatijah walk around, and say, "Damn, i miss my parents."

I wonder if anyone feels the same?

Maybe it's a hidden fact i hate my parents. Okay hate would be a strong word, i prefer to use 'dislike', but in a stronger sense, like to say "I have a dislike for being pierced in the eyeballs."

So i don't understand. For a few days i had, to say, surrogate parents. Replacements maybe, but the fact was, they were better than the originals. This gives me a huge money making idea.

It all begins with hyperactive teenagers aged 19 years old, such as my lovely parents, Lady Enyce and Mecca, and we place 18 other teenagers who 'dislike' their parents under their foster care.

Also, we need a large group of older people to pick on them, and let the parents give moral support. If any teenager was like any in the SPSU camp, they'd fall in love with their parents immediately.

Then by charging a simple rate of 50 cents to the hour of parently love, those teenagers would be hooked. I mean REALLY HOOKED. This could be the answer to all household domestic problems, no more fights, and these guy's be so hooked to their parents love, it could rival cocaine and heroin.

The answer to drugs and domestic problems, all for 50 cents an hour. You could sign up here, or you could head over to SP's website and send an email, subject- NEW PARENTS and enter your name, IC and address. We will then send two new parents with a stack of notes regarding the new parental takeover, which they will gently, in professional manners, superglue to your original parents eyebrows.

Then you could go off to begin a new life of love with your new parents.

Hell i fell in love with my mother. Which was weird, because i was accepting her further and further as my real mother and she was 19. Going on 20 or something like that.

Sure, some of you would say, "Hey, plenty of other guys married women older than they were!"

But you forget, this is the teenage stage, and for teenage girls to be dating teenage guys would be equal to the pride of being stripped naked, dabbed with cheese spread and set upon by a pack of snarling sewer rats.

So i kept my pride down, and my heart, till the very last day, when i found out she had a BOYFRIEND.

I never expected her to be with my father. No she wasn't anyway, she was with *jeng jeng jeng* the Camp Chief.

Yes the camp chief, the Sampoerna smoking cool guy.

I don't know why, but i always had this respect about him from day one. I complained a bit about him, but he seemed to have that.. style of everything that just earned my respect pronto. It's the kind of respect you'd have for someone who just ate an entire pizza in 5 bites, and if you don't respect that, you must be a girl who's reading this.

Right behind our group, at the campfire, hugging and kissing or something like that. I didn't watch. It was painful to watch. Sure it was just a crush of mine, but crushes lead to equally crushed hearts. But my heart didn't felt crushed, instead, it felt like it had been in the blender with flour eggs noodles rice and water and then smeared on each and every freshman.

I soon got over it by the dance floor though. Though it hurt to watch my mother dance with the chief.

So a lesson learnt, a lesson taught.

Never fall in love with your new parents.

Never hesitate to contact me regarding new parents.

And i miss my mommy.